Howdy Wankers,
Before you know it, the nth Anal Toga Hash will be wreaking havoc on the soulless money-grubbing Bolder Boulder. Since this has become something that we would classify as “a whole thing” for the Boulder Hash, we’re gonna give some advanced “need to know” notice on this one.
WHEN: Monday, May 30th at 9AM
WHERE: Lady Dayz’ and Cum Stain’s Place (Just Frankenstein)
WHICH IS: 1838 23rd St — between Canyon and Walnut
NEED TO KNOW – PARKING
If you haven’t experienced Boulder during the Bolder Boulder, you can get absolutely nowhere. Most roads are closed directly or indirectly to the race and the ones that are open are gridlocked. Our apartment is a half block from the course to the North (Walnut) and to the East (Folsom). Due to spectators and proximity to the finish line, parking will be scarce and we do not have a public parking lot.
With that said, if you can get to the West side of town outside of the course, you can navigate your way down Canyon to our abode. Having said all this, I am not responsible for your troubles getting to this Hash. Cum Stain is. So I’d suggest you bike, walk, or come over to our place the night before and rise early to get a jump on the drinking and/or do some race watching before trail. We have plenty of dong bags that Cum Stain and I will never use, if need be. (We have lots of anonymous sex and lots of STD’s, so what’s the point)
NEED TO KNOW – RACEISTS
If your NARP (non-athletic regular person) hatred is so strong you find it necessary to drop $80 to go for a r*n with 54,000 strangers who triple their yearly mileage on this day, have at it. You slimy raceist dumpster-fire of a human being.
The start of the Hash is within walking distance of the finish at Folsom Field (about half a mile depending on the route) and the Hares likely won’t be out till about 9:30. Giving you plenty of time to feel satisfied that you just r*n the fifth largest road race in the world that gives nothing back to the community other than crippling gridlock and confused Kenyans that are wondering, as much as the rest of us, what Memorial Day is actually about.
There will be an announcement to come with more info about the Hash itself. If you have any questions in the meantime, call me, beep me, if you wanna reach [around] me.
fone: five – eight – five – six – eight – seven – eight – five – five – two (equals -49)
On-on!
Liza’s L. Dayz