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as sung by Muffet

Way up north where it is cold
And you know there ain’t no gold
People make money from the skins that they have sold
Some people hate the killing
But I find it quite fulfilling
Because I hate to see a baby seal grow old

You don’t bludgeon a seal because you need a meal
You do it cause you want to hear the little fucker sqeal
You hit him in the head and you do it just for kicks
Then you poke out his eyes with an eye poking stick

My Mother she was mean
My father a little obscene
I guess that must explain the way that I feel
I know you can’t believe me
But my wife she wants to leave me
So I guess I take it out on a baby seal

You slice em, dice em, rototill them
Chop them up or you just plain kill them
And make them into tiny little bales
I know it won’t be long
Till the baby seals, they’re all gone
Then I’ll have to start killing the fucking whales


Greenpeace they want to lock me up
For what I’ve done to those seals pups
They wanna lock me up and throw me into the keel
But mama mama don’t you cry,
Cause you know that when I die
I’ll be coming back, as a baby seal