Shades of Grey Hash (Hashing on VD to get a VD)
You wanted a valentine’s day themed hash, eh? Well fuck you and your lame ass holiday. This is hashing. Bring nipple clamps, butt plugs (Cockchester we know you have one), fine leather, that dildo sword from 7even, anything S&M that will get stares.
Who Dat?: In keeping up with a great VD tradition, All American Cum Stain will do it all by himself. To make sure I feel the love, I will masturbate vigorously at (on) each beer check.
Where dat?: Southern Bum (Southern Sun). Apparently it is stout month where they serve beer that is not Coors Light. Although I do not approve of this tradition, I understand others do. Get your good beer in because I am buying beer for the hash (can you say malt liquor?)
When dat?: 1:69 lol (joke never gets old) on 02/14/2015 (three suns from now).
Trail dat?: A to A’. Considering I have no idea where the trail is going yet, dogs, small children, sex slaves, real slaves and fetuses should be fine. Trail will rate a 24 on the difficulty scale. End of trail will be in a much less crowded parking lot because we will be dressed in leather singing songs about raping dead people.
Bring dat?: ID, skrilla, whips, chains, (anything in that Rhianna song), favorite Toto album, change of clothes, safe word, unwashed sex toys, repressed childhood memories that manifested in weird sexual fetishes, poll tax, $5 checks made out to “Mr. All American Cum Stain” and the hashit.
Also dat: There will be a special surprise for the FRB and DFL at each beer check. The surprise will be revealed at the beginning of the hash. And yes, it took the guy with “American” in his name to turn the hash racist.