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The sun was high and so were many of the hounds. The trail was long and the cocks were not. The drinks were flowing and the titties were strapped in tight (much to Itches’s dismay). In short, it was a Boulder hash; in the fucking snow, on a fucking trail, on the side of some god damn mountain, a shitty trail was laid, and we the dutiful, slathering hounds were bound by our existing commitment (of actually showing up), to finish and be drunk and sing songs about bears and shrubs and flowers.

The hares were dressed to the nines in their finest shiggy. Cum Quick wore a smiling, winking pervert on his chest, in some ode to his pervert fore-skin fathers in Baltimore, MaryPussy. Weird Ball is and was a smiling, winking pervert, meaning that he took little effort in his dress (or are they kilts on men?). The hounds CAME in their finest dress, many of the discharges leading to visible stains. Among these cum stains were several hobos wearing license plates, a masterbating luchadore, a cow fucking Texan, and several titty fuckers from cities with sports teams.

Onto the trail.

Trail was A to A fucking Egypt. We followed pink chalk on pink rocks covered in pink snow. Cockchester, as our illustrious FRB, fucked us all early using cock shaming and other feminine wiles, leading for the 8 or more virgins to question their choice in letting us pop their (born-again) cherries. The wild hounds careened down rocky, muddy trails leading to many minor injuries and the disablement of at least one virgin. Itches heroically went back to fuck her, but the virgin had already been deflowered back at the start. The Texan fell on his ass mid-stream and raised his fist to the heavens declaring a pox on all racist hares, for all time. Top Bunk Hand Job heartily agreed and eschewed many cutbacks and much of the trail and was praised for his ingenuity and drinking prowess.

After about 6.9 miles of grueling mountain trail, down downs were had. Just Grant was awarded the hash shit because he helped the harriettes a little too much on trail (if you know what I mean) and he promptly left it at the end of the night inside of Cum Quick Cowboy. All in all, quite the showing on trail by both hound and hare. The virgins were fresh and luscious, the trail was shitty, the beer was shitty. A shitty day was had by all. Until next time.

Just Grant, BH3 Hashtorian