10/25/2017 at 05:29PM
Now Announcing – The last-minute Halloween BASH!!
As your newly appointed BASH Czar, I’ve been terribly remiss in my duties to date. You’re welcome, and I’m proud to have accomplished one of my main campaign promises within the first 100 days. My work schedule has kept me so busy that I’ve been worried I’d have trouble making much of a commitment to this extremely unimportant role. But last week my employer decided that my Bashponsibilities supersede my professional responsibilities, and put me in a position to focus entirely on BASH. After spending the last few days wallowing in happiness, I, Just Unemployed Just Ben am proud to announce that on Wed., Oct 25 we’ll be having a Horseless Headman Halloween Themed Spookyployment BASH! Time is listed as 6:30pm, but I’m hoping to find out what works best to get the most potential peeps. My schedule is open and it might be nice to start with some sunlight, but some of you poor slaves of capitalism probably have to serve your masters until the bell rings.
Trail type: A-A
Things to bring:
– Jimmy Helmets.
– Candy apples on sticks pulled from simpering middle management.
– Blinding fear about the future.
– Layers. And Standers. And a few who bend over.
– Some Russian chick who rides with the handlebars backwards without realizing it.
– Those sugar-free Gummy Bears that make you shit yourself and assorted candy for unattended children.
– Gummy Rat-faced project managers.
– A subscription to Photoshop so I can make a proper event image.
– Reasons why Karl Marx wasn’t totally wrong.
– Bitters. All the bitters you can carry.
– GODDAMN LIGHTS.
Hash Cash: $5.37, an unenthusiastic hand job from your sister, or a few months of health insurance.
A – A
Ride a fucking bike to Rayback.