07/04/2017 at 05:00PM
All America: Cum Stain
July 4th marks two important events: The time George Washington tomahawk dunked on the Redcoats and the one time a year I hare a trail. Let’s get drunk for it.
Before: There is a full on racist event before the hash. The Avery 4KKK on the Fourth in the morning (Google it) features me roasting Uncle Buck Nasty, Probably her Semen DNF’ing and unlimited beer afterwards. At $40, it is still a way better value than the hash you will do later. I require a long recovery blackout period afterwards, which is why the hash is at 5:09.
Bring: Yourself, ID, Beano’s long-winded stories, Amber’s Life Alert, short songs.
Do not Bring: The Hash-It.
Dogs: No. I hate dogs.
Babies: See above.
After: After running 40 miles (plus another 4k from the morning), we will hike up a bit to watch humans blow shit up around the front range. Let’s see how many roman candles we can fit up Brrrrrgh’s anal cavity.
A – A
If you need to ask, you’ll never know. If you know, you’ll never need to ask.
All American Cum Stain