WHEN: 05/30/2016 at 09:00AM
HARES: Lady Dayz, Cum Stain, Truck Stop
Where a toga and prepare yourself to black out around noon. We’ll run around the Bolder Boulder and laugh at the folks who spent a bunch of money to get a t-shirt they can wear every time they hangout with their hot co-workers.
After the Hash we will all cook and eat and grill and nut tap and be merry. So bring some foods and hangout stuff. Maybe a swim suit for our cold ass pool that probably won’t be open till Labor Day.
HASH CASH: $7.03
TRAIL TYPE: A – A
TURKEY/EAGLE: We’ll see
BARBECUE!! Bring some food to share and some meats to cook. Make sure to bring food that is not compatible with whatever flavor-of-the-week diet is going around. We’ve got a grill and a kitchen for your cold goods so after the Hash we can continue to chill, cook, eat, drank, and maybe go in our pool if they open it (no guarantees on that last one).
Also maybe bring other things that would be fun like yard games, a chair, a blanket on which you can lay with the hariette/hare of your choosing, etc.
If you haven’t experienced Boulder during the Bolder Boulder, you can get absolutely nowhere. Most roads are closed directly or indirectly to the race and the ones that are open are gridlocked. Our apartment is a half block from the course to the North (Walnut) and to the East (Folsom). Due to spectators and proximity to the finish line, parking will be scarce and we do not have a public parking lot.
With that said, if you can get to the West side of town outside of the course, you can navigate your way down Canyon to our abode. Having said all this, I am not responsible for your troubles getting to this Hash. Cum Stain is. So I’d suggest you bike, walk, or come over to our place the night before and rise early to get a jump on the drinking and/or do some race watching before trail. We have plenty of dong bags that Cum Stain and I will never use, if need be (we have lots of anonymous sex and lots of STD’s, so what’s the point).
If your NARP (non-athletic regular person) hatred is so strong you find it necessary to drop $80 to go for a r*n with 54,000 strangers who triple their yearly mileage on this day, have at it. You slimy raceist dumpster-fire of a human being.
The start of the Hash is within walking distance of the finish at Folsom Field (about half a mile depending on the route) and the Hares likely won’t be out till about 9:30. Giving you plenty of time to feel satisfied that you just r*n the fifth largest road race in the world that gives nothing back to the community other than crippling gridlock and confused Kenyans that are wondering, as much as the rest of us, what Memorial Day is actually about.
CONTACT: five eight five – six eight seven – eight five five two